Avast, me hearties 'n me beauties, ye salty dogs, ye landlubbers, 'n ye scurvy-festerin' bilge rats! Thar be treasure out on th' horizon fer th' takin'. If, o' course, ye know when 'n whar t' be lookin'...
Hear me parley n' listen closely, me gentlemen o' fortune 'n me bonnie lassies, fer I be blessed t' 'ave a knowin' o' whar ye can be findin' a bounty well-nigh as sweet as rum. Aye, a swashbucklin' scoundrel I may be, but ne'er can ye say tha' I be not a captain o' honor, true t' th' pirate code 'n right by me mates 'til th' sea steal me back from whence me came.
Ready yer mainsail, right yer compasses by th' north starrgh, 'n set course fer ye nearest Krispy Kreme shoppe o' confectioneries on th' 19th o' Septembarrgh 'n this, th' yearrgh o' arrgh Lord, a pair-thousand n' thirteen (9/19/13), 'n thar be doughnuts jus' waitin' fer ye!
Here's the deal: Go into any Krispy Kreme Doughnuts on International Talk Like A Pirate Day, September 19th, 2013, and if you order by talking like a pirate you'll receive ONE FREE GLAZED DOUGHNUT FOR FREE. What's more, should you decide to really commit to it (or you simply have a lot of puffy shirts lying around just begging to be worn), if you dress up like a pirate by wearing at least three (3) articles of pirate clothing (no weapons allowed) you'll receive A DOZEN GLAZED DOUGHNUTS FOR FREE.
And please, dudes, do us all a favor and lay off the eyeliner. Scratch that; just avoid it altogether You're not Johnny Depp. None of us are. Leave the makeup to your girlfriend and Bowie, man.
We've compiled a list of acceptable pirate garb, links to a free online pirate translator, a free pirate iPhone app, and online pirate language courses, as well as some deals on costumes if you need to stock up on pirate apparel and accessories (all in a far more intelligible English vernacular).
Here's a list of acceptable pirate clothing and accessories you can put together in order to earn your free dozen glazed doughnuts. Again, keep in mind, no weapons (novelty or otherwise) will be allowed inside any Krispy Kreme locations. So leave your cutlasses and flintlock pistols at home.
Should ye pirate tongue be 'n need o' some brushin' up, arrgh yer pirate warrghdrobe need cleanin', ye need not worry! Th' crew o' th' Brad Pearl (UNGH.) always 'ave a fellow scallywag pirate's back!
What ye be waitin' fer? Belay yer carousin' ye grog-headed dogs! Haul wind smartly 'n be off like ol' Calico Jack 'n 'is Charles Vane (aye, 'n a true beauty of th' sea was that ship, lost now forever t' Davey Jones' locker) on a merchant trader, fer treasure awaits ye!
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