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Your Child's First Word: Freeze Ray!

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For obvious reasons, every parent thinks their child -- and their child alone -- is a friggin' genius: "Little Tommy can read already." "Peggy Sue is mastering multiplication." And on, and on, and on, and on. Here's your chance to break the mold. Any parent can boast that their child's a genius, but what about a MAD GENIUS?! With the Young Mad Scientist Alphabet Blocks, Junior's first words will be "B is for Bioengineering," "U is for Underground lair," "T is for Tentacles," or my favorite "K is for Potassium." (If you don't get that one, your kid probably doesn't have genius in the cards for him.) This set of five handmade blocks is now available at for just $39.99 with $5.39 for shipping. Each block has smooth, rounded edges, no harmful dyes or chemicals, and most importantly, hand-carved depictions of what will hopefully be the "building blocks" (again, if you don't get it...) for your son or daughter's unethically experimental future.

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