I’m a homicidal maniac. Technically it’s plant-slaughter, because there is no premeditation. In fact, my motive is always the opposite. Like a true sociopath, I rationalized that the problem was not me, it was them. I was buying the wrong plants.
Are you the grim reaper of gardening? Get these three tried and true no-fail plants for the green thumb challenged and stop wasting your money on seed packets and plants that only look good in the picture and in the store. Like Mr. Death himself, you just showed up with tools. You didn’t do it.
Give yourself a head start, killer, and get your hands on a potted plant. A rose bush is one of the best looking almost indestructible spring staples. Plant a rose bush in the ground or in a large pot with a drain (hole in the bottom), add some miracle grow, and enjoy the effortless buds in the spring and blooms every summer. This Morden Blush Rose Bush can be delivered to your door for $15. One reviewer said that this “tough as nails” bush has even survived Wisconsin winters.
Succulents can live indoors and outdoors, even with a neglectful garden guardian. They store water in their leaves, so if you forget to water them, they don’t need you anyway. A big reason why these independent cactus-like leafy greens have become increasingly popular in event and wedding design is because they can be left out of water for a long period of time and still look fresh. They won’t leave your wallet out to dry, either. For around $16, you can get three small succulents or a 6 incher like this Hanging Basket Donkey Tails Plant at HomeDepot.com.
Cast Iron Plants
Like rose bushes and succulents, cast iron plants thrive both indoors and outdoors with minimal commitment required of their owners. They need little water or sunlight so they’re perfect for shady spaces like under a deck or an herb murderer’s living room. Get one for $9 shipped from TheGardenGates.
- Air Plants
- Lucky bamboo
- Sago Palm
- Strawberry Begonia
- Moth Orchid
Steer clear of this tough-to-care for foliage, forgetful friends:
- Vegetables: Anything edible requires constant attention.
- Hydrangeas: They dry out very easily, so they will probably die of thirst.
- Ficus: It must be misted constantly during the first few weeks with you. What a diva.
What is your favorite plant that just won’t quit? Tell us in the comment section below!
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